It’s getting dark in this heart of mine. A darkness of peace. A darkness of quiet. A darkness that lets all my burdens drop by my side and wash away with the flood of memories that take them back to the sea. Looking at all my thoughts as drops of water and all my emotions as waves. Surfing those epic winter north shore sets, one after another. Body flooded with adrenaline and all my limbs spent from the paddle back out to ride yet another perfect wave to the shore.
Remind me not to wear my canary-yellow thong bikini for anything but sunning or beachcombing. Not swimming and definitely not surfing. Walking back to the house, alongside the narrow road, being so thankful that I had been able to keep hold of my bottoms on that last wave, them down around one ankle and my hand gripping them for dear life. Board in the other. Perhaps I really shouldn’t have even been out on these massive waves.
I couldn’t resist the buff surfer dude, who was a young marine guy, inviting me to join him. I could have played it safe and stayed back and cooked a breakfast for the guy, or been even more domestic and cleaned the house, but no, I had to prove that I was as brave as a man. Or was it just crazy stupid. Either way I survived to tell the story and to live another day.
My girlfriend, Patti, who is one of the few friends I have, that has been married 42 years, has always said that she lives vicariously through my adventures. It is amazing to me that two people could love each other through thick and thin and make it work for their entire lifetime and remain happy. I have a different core makeup that loves new, loves firsts, loves meeting and getting to know someone. I don’t do well with long lasting anything, except disciplined self-imposed behaviors, such as a daily routine like yoga, stretching, walking in the woods, drinking celery juice before anything else. I am a certified health nut.
I was told once, by a very wise elder and mentor of mine, Barbra, who has now passed, that I had a specific configuration in my Tibetan astrology chart, that meant I needed a three-ring circus in relationships. She understood it well, for she had the same in her chart. I would not be happy unless there was variety. That I’d have a different friend for each area, such as walking, movies, rock climbing, surfing, skydiving. You get the idea. I leave out the juiciest category. Let your imagination wander. Yes, I am addicted to the sensual, the physical body, exploring it and having new experiences with new people. I get bored with anything sexual that isn’t spontaneous as well as varied and creative. If a lover does the same thing time after time, I lose interest immediately. Strangely, I can find almost anyone sexy and intriguing, at least upon meeting and connecting the first time. It is the second and third time that is the key to my desire staying present with them. If they can’t bring the right key, the lock to my mind, body and emotions gets turned off, shut down, and locked up, and I wish them a kind ado.